Van Gogh museum: a liberating experience
I want to share my visit to the Van Gogh Museum, an experience I found liberating. The museum had been on my bucket list, so the first thing I did upon arriving in Amsterdam was book a ticket. For me, seeing Van Gogh’s art felt like meeting Van Gogh himself. I dressed up for this once-in-a-lifetime experience and eagerly took the tram to the museum. On my way, I was thrilled at the prospect of delving into the artist’s life, his letters to Theo (which are esteemed in world literature), his artistic development, and the themes and techniques defining his work. Although “Starry Night” was at the top of my list, I discovered that it is housed at the Museum of Modern Art in New York, not in the Netherlands.
The tram stop was just a few steps from the museum’s stunning transparent building. The entrance hall was light and spacious, with a glass roof that captured the sunny atmosphere, reminiscent of many of Van Gogh’s paintings. I immediately encountered a collection of his self-portraits on the ground floor, noting his gruff expression. It was amazing to see how these few portraits had shaped my preconceived notions about Van Gogh’s anxiety, lack of self-confidence, and struggle with his identity—all reflected in his paintings. Yet, seeing these self-portraits in person was unexpectedly overwhelming. This sense of awe stayed with me as I moved through the museum, from floor to floor and painting to painting. I paused at many remarkable works, including the painting of his yellow house, almond blossoms painted for his nephew, The Potato Eaters, and the sunflowers.
When I reached his final painting, “Tree Roots,” created shortly before he took his own life, I burst into tears. I realized that I had spent my time not just viewing an impressive collection of paintings, but connecting with Van Gogh on a deeper level. What makes Van Gogh’s work famous isn’t just his technical skill—he wasn’t as technically proficient as Rembrandt, for example—but his embrace of his own mediocrity. Some people mistake mediocrity for quitting or settling for inferiority, but Van Gogh’s paintings revealed that he knew he was different and talented, yet did not see himself as superior to his contemporaries. This self-acceptance made him free to be himself. He liberated himself by understanding that the world does not care about how many times he failed.
Van Gogh painted with authentic expression, unfazed by the fear of being labeled a bad artist. He didn’t receive recognition until long after his death, and it’s said that he sold only one painting outside of his family during his lifetime. In one of his letters, he wrote, “I must continue to follow the path I take now. If I do nothing, if I study nothing, if I cease searching, then, woe is me, I am lost. That is how I look at it—keep going, keep going, come what may.” Van Gogh was simply a man trying to learn, and his efforts are what make him great now. His painting “Head of a Skeleton with a Burning Cigarette” serves as a satirical comment on the conservative curriculum at the Academy in Antwerp, where painting skeletons to understand human anatomy was a standard exercise.
Van Gogh taught me to embrace mediocrity.
